Do I like heart meat? No. No I do not. I do not like it in a box, I do not like it with a fox. I do not like it with a skunk, I do not like to eat dat junk. But in our ever-growing community of nose-to-tail consumption, it’s behooving (beHOOFing? Ugh, don’t look at me.) to find ways to eat the somewhat unconventional parts of animals and reap their nutritional benefits.
I don’t really cook offal. Or eat offal. And it’s not that I’m not an adventurous eater, it’s just…have you seen what sweetbreads look like?
Certain things just make me severely uncomfortable, like gory movies and the palpable air of certain doom that follows the elderly. Or being trusted to hold small children. They’re just so breakable and I’m so very clumsy.
Offal doesn’t really make me feel all that much different.
Heart meat is a little weird, but since many people in the States seem to have the same feelings about it, it’s ridiculously cheap to get. It’s very meaty, a little tough, and is as purple as a newborn, but jam packed with minerals and nutrients, as well as a having a high density of a chemical compound known to reduce heart disease, scare off cancer and prolong life, otherwise known as CoQ10. That’s the same stuff made in pill form and sold for cash money millions.
But let me say it again: heart meat is kind of weird. Some people claim it to be a poor man’s steak, saying the taste to be indiscernible from more expensive cuts. Do not engage with these people. They are goddamn liars.
Though I’d rather go for short ribs, flank, tenderloin or other cuts of beef, heart definitely isn’t the worst cut you can find. Don’t take my review at face value, though. Many people love it! Most of whom have questionable tastes and should not be trusted with sharp objects.
Then again, I’ve had worse. In France I ordered a large helping of andouillette thinking it was andouille just spelled wrong. Spoiler alert: It’s not. Instead of delicious, smoked sausage (andouille), you get pig intestines filled with pig intestines (andouillette). It was like Inception, except with pig asshole instead of dreams.
Truthfully, there is a slight but discernible sweet and coppery/livery taste to heart, but I almost expected that given its former full time job. If you like your meat with a somewhat earthy, meaty taste, you might enjoy grilled, roasted or braised heart meat by itself. The rest of us can reap the nutritional benefits of this cheap cut of meat by blending it into standard ground beef on a 1:3 ratio. For burgers, I would avoid going beyond a 1:2 ratio, otherwise the taste may be overwhelming, and the lack of fat makes for one dry sonofabeef.
Preparation time: 20 minute(s) Cooking time: 10 minute(s) Number of servings (yield): 8 For the Beef Heart Sliders For the Spinach-Bacon Aioli For the Beef Heart Sliders: For the Spinach-Bacon Aioli
Preparation time: 20 minute(s)
Cooking time: 10 minute(s)
Number of servings (yield): 8
For the Beef Heart Sliders
For the Spinach-Bacon Aioli
For the Beef Heart Sliders:
For the Spinach-Bacon Aioli