Paleo Mashed “Potatoes”

I’m usually pretty dubious about foods presented in quotation marks. Typically it means someone’s trying to sell me something I’m not all that interested in buying. Like when I’m traveling abroad and someone offers me a “biscuit” and I’m all, “um, I’m pretty sure that’s a cookie.” These liars don’t speak in quotes, but trust me, it’s implied.


So why the quotes anyway? Potatoes are pretty straight forward; it’s either a potato or it isn’t. While this recipe falls under the isn’t, it’s also under might as well be, and here’s why….

I’ve been primarily making them with celery root (celeriac), which is comparable in delicousness given it’s subtle celery flavor with strong potato likeness, but also a little better for you. I won’t get too sciency here, but here’s the ADHD-special science breakdown: lower calories, lower carbs, equal amount of fiber and badger peepee. Were you paying attention?



Celery root by itself is amazing, except for the part where you’ll have to turn tricks on your off time to afford it. Celery root is kind of expensive, so I usually bulk it up with another root vegetable, like, say, parsnips. Here’s where I’d usually add a little anecdote about parsnips, but I’m feeling lazy and there is literally nothing funny about parsnips. Seriously, nothing.


Remove the weird center part of the parsnips or you’ll REGRET EVERYTHING.


For those of you who follow me on Instagram, Twitter, or Facebook, you’ve probably noticed a growing trend of paleo recipes popping up in my repertoire. Or you didn’t because you’re not following me on any of those sites, which is just nonsense.

I won’t use this post to go deep into the reasons behind why I’m eating so many paleo foods these last few months, but suffice it to say my body has responded favorably to foods I’ve been giving it, and I feel awesome. Like dogs riding on unicycles awesome. Like, my colon is feelin’ so fine it HIGH FIVED ME awesome. And then I washed my hands in very hot water.




Recipe: Celery Root and Parsnip Mashed “Potatoes”

Preparation time: 10 minute(s)

Cooking time: 15 minute(s)

Number of servings (yield): 6


  • 2 lbs celery root, peeled and diced
  • 1 lb parsnips, peeled and diced
  • 1/2 cup grass fed butter, divided
  • 2 garlic cloves, peeled and smashed
  • 1/2 cup chicken stock (or water)
  • salt and pepper to taste
  • 1/2 tbsp onion powder
  • chives (optional)
  • 1/4 tsp nutmeg (optional)


  1. To peel celery root, cut the ugly, gnarly end off and lay it cut-side down. Use the knife to cut down the sides, making sure to not cut off too much. Continue until all of the fibrous, brown exterior is removed. To remove the parsnips, use a peeler to remove thin exterior layer and then slice lengthwise into quarters. If the parsnip is large, you will need to remove the core. Dice celery root and parsnips into 1/2 inch cubes.
  2. Melt 1/4 cup butter in a large pot over medium heat and add smashed garlic and diced celery root and parsnip. Cook for 8-10 minutes or until browned, stirring frequently so they don’t burn. Add chicken stock (or water), place lid on pot and continue to cook for five minutes, or until each piece can be easily pierced with a fork. Set aside and let cool slightly.
  3. Place contents of the pot into a food processor with onion powder, nutmeg (if using) and remaining butter, and process until smooth.
  4. Season with salt and pepper and serve topped with chives.



4 thoughts on “Paleo Mashed “Potatoes”

  1. Pingback: 8 Thanksgiving-Worthy Alternatives to Mashed Potatoes | Healthy Way To Cook

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