Category Archives: Recipes

Recipes Sweet

No-Bake Paleo Chocolate Cream Pie (Gluten/Sugar/Dairy-Free)

There are things in life that scare me. Like, for instance, when you’re sitting in a doctor’s office for a regular checkup and you’re asked to remove all of your clothes, but remember you wore your unforgivably ugly underwear because it’s laundry day, and you make a panicked mental reminder to find a new doctor because, clearly, you can’t face this one again.

 

But also diet things. Like, any and all diet things.  I think we can thank the ’80s for most things “diet” and “lite”, as well as for acid wash denim and the surge of needlessly long guitar solos that make most songs too awkward for karaoke.


Paleo Chocolate Cream Pie (Dairy/Grain/Sugar/Gluten free)

 

My defenses against these fears are, first, keep a healthy stock of doctor-friendly underwear, and second, combat the diet fad by making my junk food the way the food gods intended: full fat, full flavor, no shame.

 

Like this ridiculous wheat-, dairy-, egg-, gluten-, and sugar-free chocolate cream pie, for instance:

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Food Recipes Salty

Paleo Mashed “Potatoes”

I’m usually pretty dubious about foods presented in quotation marks. Typically it means someone’s trying to sell me something I’m not all that interested in buying. Like when I’m traveling abroad and someone offers me a “biscuit” and I’m all, “um, I’m pretty sure that’s a cookie.” These liars don’t speak in quotes, but trust me, it’s implied.

 


So why the quotes anyway? Potatoes are pretty straight forward; it’s either a potato or it isn’t. While this recipe falls under the isn’t, it’s also under might as well be, and here’s why….

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Recipes Sweet

Gluten-Free Chocolate Chip Cookies Recipe

When I made my foray into this gluten-free adventure of mine a couple months back (albeit with a few warranted cheat days) I wasn’t sure I’d ever again know the joy of burning my lips on a scorching-hot, gooey, soft and chewy chocolate chip cookie. I’d conceded to eating cookies that would make me wish the apocalypse were real. But much like when I was five and assumed Mother Theresa was a portly black woman (and also that her name was “Mother Catreesa”) I was so very wrong!

 

BEHOLD. A gluten-free chocolate chip cookie that looks, feels and tastes like a REAL CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIE. None of this crumbly, dry, flavorless nonsense. I would take this cookie to bed and call it the next morning.

Gluten-free chocolate chip cookies

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Recipes Salty

Smoky Beef Heart Sliders with Spinach-Bacon Aioli

Do I like heart meat? No. No I do not. I do not like it in a box, I do not like it with a fox. I do not like it with a skunk, I do not like to eat dat junk. But in our ever-growing community of nose-to-tail consumption, it’s behooving (beHOOFing? Ugh, don’t look at me.) to find ways to eat the somewhat unconventional parts of animals and reap their nutritional benefits.

Beef heart burger with spinach-bacon aioli

 

I don’t really cook offal. Or eat offal. And it’s not that I’m not an adventurous eater, it’s just…have you seen what sweetbreads look like?

 

Certain things just make me severely uncomfortable, like gory movies and the palpable air of certain doom that follows the elderly. Or being trusted to hold small children. They’re just so breakable and I’m so very clumsy.

 

Offal doesn’t really make me feel all that much different.

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Recipes Salty

Sweet Potato Poutine + Sweet Potato Fries recipe

Canada is known for so much: The maple leaf, cheap Viagra and so many beavers — the latter two being regrettably unrelated. Canadians are also known for being chronically friendly, but so are most puppies so I’m not even sure if I can give them that one.

 

But this post isn’t about beavers or puppies, it’s about poutine (pronounced POOH-TIN — Thanks Johr!). Poutine is a Quebecois dish that is French fries, brown gravy and cheese curds. Dreamy, right?

 

Sweet Potato Poutine

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