Paleo Recipes Recipes Salty Salty

An Homage to Brussels Sprouts and a Goodbye to Sugar…for now.

Brussels Sprouts Yuck FaceBrussels sprouts have always gotten a bad rap, and unfairly so. They’re the cruciferous renegades of the vegetable world for whom few hold in pleasant regard. You may recognize them from such adjectives such as “disgusting”, “bitter”, and “get that away from me”, but these are spoken from the lips of ugly sprout haters. The fact that they smell faintly of pork shit when cooked does them no real favor, either. But I’m here to clear Brussels sprouts of these unjust accusations and prove that they can be delicious with the right preparation.

Brussels Sprouts

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Recipes Sweet

5 Minute Chocolate Peppermint Mug Cake

Mug CakeTwas the week before Christmas, and seriously stressed,
Hustling and bustling to to cook up my best.
Spreading holiday cheer, and obliged to cavort
I knew this week’s blogging time would be cut short.

As post-time drew nearer, I lay in my bed,
while visions of deadlines filled me with dread.
More days had passed, and while buying gift wrap,
I remembered that deadline and muttered, “aw, crap.”

When out from my brain there arose subject matter,
a recipe to make us all happier, fatter.
Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash,
Well, more like the saunter of drunken white trash…

But for now I excitedly want to show,
just how to make your coterie grow.
With velvety chocolate, whose purpose is clear,
we’ll build a treat that is easy, austere.

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Recipes Sweet

Boozy Chocolate Orange Panna Cotta: A Drunken Approach to Christmas

After months of trying to occupy the void left in my life since last December, it’s here.  Christmastime is finally here.  This, the season of sharing, caring and putting up with shoppers pushy, angry and overbearing, is upon us.  I’d like to say I’m prepared, but this season snuck up on me like a stealthy, yuletide ninja and I can say I’m about as prepared for this season as Marcus Bachmann was prepared for heterosexual sex with Michelle.  I’m not sure how December always seems to creep up on me, as if there weren’t 364, 24-hour-long warnings to help me get in gear. Yet here I stand, ruggedly-handsome-in-that-slightly-sexy-way-but-I-don’t-want-to-admit-it-for-fear-of-you-disagreeing-with-me and completely, utterly and totally unprepared! In fact I have partially written cards from last Christmas that I have yet to send, but instead of making myself feel like a failure for being 1 year late, I like to think that I meant to write them a year in advance and I end up feeling incredibly smug and superior to everyone else. And that’s really what Christmas is all about, isn’t it?

Terry's Chocolate Orange

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Recipes Sweet

Chocolate Hazelnut Sourdough Bread Pudding

Many, many moons ago, long before ever-ubiquitous preservatives were employed as means to keep food fresher longer, and when humans typically smelled as though they messed themselves on the regular, food had a relatively short shelf life.  Refrigeration wasn’t widely regarded as a useful tactic outside of the convenience of bitter cold winters, so dairy, meats and other treats went sour faster than you can convince a rational-minded person with a halfway decent comedic meter to watch an entire episode of NBC’s Whitney.

Given the state of those economically hard-hit and unhygienic times, food was not a commodity that was easily discarded.  Given this, the people had to come up with ways of serving food long after its point of ripeness.  Meat corrupted by time was covered in rich, heady sauces; softened, near-spoiled vegetables were thrown into soups and stocks; and breads…well, stale breads, it seems, were the belle of the tainted food ball.  Their uses included stuffings, sops, and, easily the best use for this crusty comestible, bread mothereffin’ pudding (or puddin’ for my backwater and/or five-year-old readers).

If you’ve yet to have bread pudding, let me give you an idea of what your sadly deprived mouth is in for: it’s akin to eating tequila-soaked, opera-singing fairies while bathing in a thick sea of happiness.  That is the perfect taste description. Bravo, me.

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Recipes Salty

Sole Meuniére in Lemon Thyme Sourdough

“Perfectly browned in sputtering butter sauce” is how she described it, and I knew before I even tried it I was in love.  By “she” I mean Julia Child and by “it” I mean the meal that changed her trajectory forever: sole meuniére.

No food blog is complete without some mention or homage to THE Julia Child.  I won’t make it excessive or eulogizing, because even though I love the woman, there’s hardly anything that hasn’t been said about her already.  And if there’s one thing I hate it’s being redundant.  And close talkers, but that’s beside the point.

Gentle Giant Julia began cooking because she wanted to impress her new husband and became especially vigilant about mastering her techniques after failing her first meal for him: brains simmered in red wine.  Now I’m not shy about eating unconventional foods and I’m willing to eat about any part of an animal that’s edible, naughty bits included. But there’s something about eating a purpley-greyish cow cerebrum and serving it with a classic Port that feels more Hannibal Lector than it does “gormet”.

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