What better way to celebrate the football season than with a big bowl of frozen lager suspended in a dense, glacial cloud of cream and sugar? And what better way to kick off this post than with a lie alluding that I actually give a deep darn shit about football?
These three words are enough to pique the interest of even the most prudish of drinkers. In fact, I expect that hordes of AA members will opt to throw away their 30 day chips in exchange for a heaping spoonful of of this stuff, because it is really that good. It’s a dessert sweet enough to appeal to the daintiest of daisies, but packed with enough deep, yeasty beer flavor that even the most macho of menfolk would do all but think twice to shamelessly curl up on the couch with a bowl and sob uncontrollably while watching Toy Story 3. Or maybe that was just me. Either way, the masses will be pleased once they set their palates on go and shovel this ice cream into their beer-depraved gobs, this I can promise.
But what is it about beer that sends so many into barmy merriment? I’ll admit that while I thoroughly enjoy a good ale now, its appeal once completely eluded me. The interesting, starchy taste of ferment was one that I had to get used to, but once I did, Ale and I stopped being strangers in the night and began our lusty cavorting whenever the itch came along, if you get what I’m sayin’.
What’s unfortunate is that I can’t really drink beer because, get this… I can’t burp, which makes drinking carbonated beverages an interesting — and painful — experience. It’s true, and yet nobody ever believes me when I tell them this, and so these well meaning, non-believers then spout out burping advice as if I haven’t heard it all before. As if I haven’t TRIED it all before. I’ve tried every tactic to make my stomach and esophagus work in symphonic accordance, only to become frustrated, gassy and in the end I’m left feeling about as attractive as a walrus with a sagging uni-titty. Thanks to this ice cream those dark, unsexy days are finally over.
I don’t believe in fat free or low fat desserts. I see no point in bastardizing sweets with sugar substitutes or reduced fat ingredients for the sake of ones weight. A dessert is meant to be an indulgence, a means of clinching a satisfying meal and celebrating it with a bit of decadence, and it should be untainted and treated with utmost respect. That is why I used a 2:1 heavy whipping cream and whole milk mixture in my ice cream base, because I take the cream aspect of ice cream very seriously. I believe in a world where one can unabashedly engorge oneself with gallons of unadulterated cream-based products without any artificiality. Who’s with me on this? Kerry for President, 2012!
My original intent was to make a dark chocolate stout sauce as an accompaniment, but it quickly became apparent during its preparation that this idea was not one of my best. The resulting flavor was a sad mix between molasses and burnt hair, but my garbage disposal seemed to enjoy it. Sometimes ideas are better off left unexplored.
Alternatively served alongside a scalene shaped spear of homemade peanut brittle, it’s never been more apparent why beer is often served alongside a heaping bowl of pre-shucked peanuts. The two flavors compliment one another much the same way unattractive men in ugly cars compliment female passersby, only in a much tastier, acceptable way. Something about the buttery crunchiness of the peanut brittle rounds out the flavors of the ice cream and brings the dish full circle.
The next time you decide to have a party or cookout or just drink yourself to stupidity, think of those with gastrological impotence and whip up a batch of this stuff as well. Everyone deserves the chance for a boozy night filled with blackouts and Sharpie-drawn faces, so let’s not let them down.
Beer Ice Cream
[print_this]Recipe: Beer Ice Cream with Homemade Peanut Brittle
Summary: Rich stout suspended in a sweetened glacial cloud of ice cream, which can be complimented by a piece of homemade peanut brittle. This recipe is for the lush who can’t control their inner moppet. Or vice versa.
Preparation time: 15 minute(s)
Cooking time: 15 minute(s)
Number of servings (yield): 4
- 2 cups heavy cream
- 1 cup whole milk
- 2 cups confectioners sugar or 1 1/3 cups granulated
- 1 vanilla bean, split
- 12 oz beer of choice
- Combine heavy cream, milk and sugar in a medium sized saucepan over medium heat.
- Cut vanilla bean down the middle, scrape the seeds into the saucepan with the cream and toss in both halves of the vanilla bean.
- While stirring constantly, cook mixture until it reaches a temperature of 170 degrees or until the sugar has fully dissolved and the milk is thoroughly warmed. (Warning: do not let your milk boil or simmer)
- Remove from heat, remove vanilla bean halves and set aside until it has cooled to room temperature. Add beer of choice and place in fridge for one hour, or until chilled.
- If using an ice cream maker, add cream mixture and make according to manufacturer’s suggestions. However, if making it the manual way then add the mixture to a freezer-safe container and place into the freezer. Every forty minutes for 7 to 10 hours, stir the mixture up really well, making sure to break up the large ice crystals. Doing this will ensure a smooth, creamy consistency void of harsh icy bits.
For those interested, the recipe used for the peanut brittle can be found here.