Meyer Lemon-Infused Fettuccine with Spinach, Pistachio and Black Garlic Pesto

Meyer lemon infused fettuccini with pestoMuch like the movement of haute fashion, the zeitgeist of modernist foodie-ism is to either find clever ways of manipulating the everyday ingredient into something new and thrilling, or incorporate an unconventional element into an otherwise mundane dish to add an unexpected dimension. To take an ordinary block of egg-topped focaccia and add a blot of bluefoot mushroom foam would instantaneously transform it into something exotic, yet familiar.  I take friendless pleasure in spending my time embellishing comfort dishes with tasteful nuance that draws in the everyday person while appeasing the adventurous-minded simultaneously, and I think this recipe does just that.

Black garlic to match my black soul

Black garlic to match my black soul.

My love for pasta knows no bounds, just as the girl with bangs knows no sex. If eating pasta for every meal was acceptable and not a detriment to my boyish frame then I would do so. The fact is that pasta is really not that great for you in the mountainous heaps that I wish to consume it, but please don’t mention this to the Italians. Not that they would take heed to your feeble attempt at a balky dissuasion, but if you favor your teeth you’d be well off to keep them hidden behind closed lips that don’t speak ill of pasta.

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Homemade Chocolate Box. Your Valentine Will Hate You.

Chocolate BoxValentine’s day was a lot easier when I was a kid. It was a time where looking cute and wearing jorts were not mutually exclusive. Also since giving valentines to everyone in homeroom was a mandate, you always got a valentine from your crush. And it was so cute the way that said crush threw the valentine at me while jokingly muttering “I’m only giving this to you because the teacher made me,” before flipping me off.

Young love is so pure.

Not only that, but it was accepted practice to pass out badass X-Men valentines, and any day that involves a Gambit card that reads, “I’m Yours, chere!” — presumably spoken in his cool and sultry Cajun voice — is a good day for me.

Shit girl, be mine!

A well-written note will go a long way.

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