5 Minute Chocolate Peppermint Mug Cake

Twas the week before Christmas, and seriously stressed,
Hustling and bustling to to cook up my best.
Spreading holiday cheer, and obliged to cavort
I knew this week’s blogging time would be cut short.

As post-time drew nearer, I lay in my bed,
while visions of deadlines filled me with dread.
More days had passed, and while buying gift wrap,
I remembered that deadline and muttered, “aw, crap.”

When out from my brain there arose subject matter,
a recipe to make us all happier, fatter.
Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash,
Well, more like the saunter of drunken white trash…

But for now I excitedly want to show,
just how to make your coterie grow.
With velvety chocolate, whose purpose is clear,
we’ll build a treat that is easy, austere.

Now, all that you need is a coffee cup,
and a spoon or a fork to mix the stuff up.
A few more things we’ll to add to the list,
and create a treat by following this:

Add flour and sugar, mix it up quick,
drop in an egg to make it real thick,
“ADD COFFEE AND MILK!” I will exclaim,
and not till we’re done do we give it a name.

Peppermint | My beautiful hand

Stir in the oil, we’re now almost done,
although it may feel we have just begun.
Into a microwave’s is how we will bake,
a five minute mug-based chocolate cake.

Seductively stirring like a cheap, brazen vixen,
I wonder what else I could possibly mix in.
When almost by fate I spotted the mint,
a smile drew on my lips, and in my eyes, a glint.

I grabbed the mint to add just a dash,
a couple drops? Nay, a splash.
Except I dropped and broke that bottle,
thanks to my awkward, tall man’s toddle.

With a big scream, a stomp, and a growl,
and several words so very foul,
I grabbed my car keys, and was off to the store,
to go purchase just a couple drops more.

Returning home I spotted the cat,
with his face looking guilty, matted with scat.
No, wait…it’s chocolate. Guess from where!
Gritting my teeth, I start to swear.

I chased the cat like an angry sheep drover,
then rinsed out the cup and started all over.
Around the cat’s neck I tied a tight tether,
and grabbed my ingredients to put them together.

As I finished my mixing I thought I could hear,
something outside sound like holiday cheer.
I put on my shoes, left my house in a dash,
and found a big bearded man stealing my trash.

“Santa, that you?” I asked jubilantly.
The startled man spun and stared directly at me,
“Uh, sure…” he said, with a gulp and a burp,
through nicotine teeth, then wiped trash on his shirt.

I couldn’t believe it, what fortune! What luck!
and looked on in wonder when he asked for a buck.
“Better than THAT!” I was starting to schmooze,
Silly Santa asked me, “is it hookers or booze?”

“No, Santa. See, I made you something to eat,
a sugar mint chocolate holiday treat!”
I brought him the cake served up in a mug,
and eagerly waited a jolly ole hug.

He took a big bite and smiled from ear to ear,
and shifted his cheek to let a squeak out his rear.
A siren then wailed with a red and blue glow,
Santa gave my mug and screamed, “AHH, gotta go!”

As he ran from the cops I felt a tear in my eye,
and felt very blessed to have met that great guy.
So for all those who need proof that Santa is real
go to 19th and 4th — it’s where he makes his drug deals.


5 Minute Chocolate Peppermint Mug Cake


SummaryA quick treat for when you’re craving cake, but not a whole one.

Preparation time: 2.5 minute(s)

Cooking time: 2.5 minute(s)

Number of servings (yield): 1


  • 1 16oz Microwave-safe coffee mug
  • 4 tbsp all purpose flour
  • 4 tbsp sugar
  • 3 tbsp unsweetened cocoa powder
  • 1/4 tsp baking powder
  • 1/4 tsp salt
  • 1 tbsp coconut oil (other vegetable oils will also work)
  • 3 tbsp buttermilk (regular milk will work just fine)
  • 1 egg, lightly beaten
  • 2 tbsp hot coffee
  • 1/4 tsp mint extract
  • 1 crushed peppermint candy cane, divided
  • Dollop of marshmallow fluff or frosting.


  1. Place all ingredients (minus crushed candy cane) in the mug and mix together, being sure to scrape the bottom and sides to incorporate all dry ingredients into the wet.
  2. Add half the crushed candy cane and mix well.
  3. Place in microwave and bake on high for 2 to 2-1/2 minutes. Cake is done when it is no longer wiggly-wet.
  4. Remove from microwave and let stand for a couple minutes — it’ll be hot!
  5. Top with frosting or marshmallow fluff and sprinkle with remaining crushed candy cane.
  6. Report your missing garbage to the police.

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