5 Minute Chocolate Peppermint Mug Cake

Mug CakeTwas the week before Christmas, and seriously stressed,
Hustling and bustling to to cook up my best.
Spreading holiday cheer, and obliged to cavort
I knew this week’s blogging time would be cut short.

As post-time drew nearer, I lay in my bed,
while visions of deadlines filled me with dread.
More days had passed, and while buying gift wrap,
I remembered that deadline and muttered, “aw, crap.”

When out from my brain there arose subject matter,
a recipe to make us all happier, fatter.
Away to the kitchen I flew like a flash,
Well, more like the saunter of drunken white trash…

But for now I excitedly want to show,
just how to make your coterie grow.
With velvety chocolate, whose purpose is clear,
we’ll build a treat that is easy, austere.

Now, all that you need is a coffee cup,
and a spoon or a fork to mix the stuff up.
A few more things we’ll to add to the list,
and create a treat by following this:

Add flour and sugar, mix it up quick,
drop in an egg to make it real thick,
“ADD COFFEE AND MILK!” I will exclaim,
and not till we’re done do we give it a name.

Peppermint | My beautiful handStir in the oil, we’re now almost done,
although it may feel we have just begun.
Into a microwave’s is how we will bake,
a five minute mug-based chocolate cake.

Seductively stirring like a cheap, brazen vixen,
I wonder what else I could possibly mix in.
When almost by fate I spotted the mint,
a smile drew on my lips, and in my eyes, a glint.

I grabbed the mint to add just a dash,
a couple drops? Nay, a splash.
Except I dropped and broke that bottle,
thanks to my awkward, tall man’s toddle.

With a big scream, a stomp, and a growl,
and several words so very foul,
I grabbed my car keys, and was off to the store,
to go purchase just a couple drops more.

Returning home I spotted the cat,
with his face looking guilty, matted with scat.
No, wait…it’s chocolate. Guess from where!
Gritting my teeth, I start to swear.

I chased the cat like an angry sheep drover,
then rinsed out the cup and started all over.
Around the cat’s neck I tied a tight tether,
and grabbed my ingredients to put them together.

As I finished my mixing I thought I could hear,
something outside sound like holiday cheer.
I put on my shoes, left my house in a dash,
and found a big bearded man stealing my trash.

“Santa, that you?” I asked jubilantly.
The startled man spun and stared directly at me,
“Uh, sure…” he said, with a gulp and a burp,
through nicotine teeth, then wiped trash on his shirt.

I couldn’t believe it, what fortune! What luck!
and looked on in wonder when he asked for a buck.
“Better than THAT!” I was starting to schmooze,
Silly Santa asked me, “is it hookers or booze?”

“No, Santa. See, I made you something to eat,
a sugar mint chocolate holiday treat!”
I brought him the cake served up in a mug,
and eagerly waited a jolly ole hug.

He took a big bite and smiled from ear to ear,
and shifted his cheek to let a squeak out his rear.
A siren then wailed with a red and blue glow,
Santa gave my mug and screamed, “AHH, gotta go!”

As he ran from the cops I felt a tear in my eye,
and felt very blessed to have met that great guy.
So for all those who need proof that Santa is real
go to 19th and 4th — it’s where he makes his drug deals.


5 Minute Chocolate Peppermint Mug Cake

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  • December 21, 2011 - 9:11 pm | Permalink

    i’m a little bit in love with this. due to the ease & availability of ingredients.

    • Kerry
      January 7, 2012 - 5:40 am | Permalink

      That was what drew me to it in the first place, especially around the holiday season. I already had everything on hand and had the 5 minutes to spare. But it makes cake-making dangerously convenient.

  • December 22, 2011 - 2:22 am | Permalink

    I truly enjoyed reading your post! And love this simple delight in a mug recipe.

    • Kerry
      January 7, 2012 - 5:39 am | Permalink

      Thank you! It’s super easy and so fast, it’s kind of hard to not want to make it.

  • December 22, 2011 - 12:48 pm | Permalink

    We used to make flour-less chocolate cakes in the microwave, when we were in college at 2 am in the morning and craving for chocolate! This sounds so perfect for a quick fix during the holidays!

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  • Kat
    May 2, 2014 - 8:39 am | Permalink

    Don’t like coffee, nor do we even use a maker in the house. Anythin I could substitute it?

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