Red Velvet Slaughter Cake

There, in a town, that just might be yours

were gruesome displays of violent gore.

Of scenes very bloody and horrors untold

where bodies-turned-dishes were eaten and sold.

Red Velvet Slaughter Cake

 

Dozens went missing, the young and the old,

and none of them knew how their end would unfold:

The town’s chef would claim a victim or two

and put them in dishes that gained rave reviews.

 

From braised Susan biscuits and Tommy pot pies,

He’d serve up roast Lisa with Yukon gold fries.

Unknowing town’s people had come from afar

to try out a piece of chef’s deep fried Lamar.

Red Velvet Slaughter Cake

Red Velvet Slaughter Cake

 

More disappeared but not one suspected

that the friendly chef had been so connected.

Now with his recipes feeling inert,

the chef went to making a winning dessert.

 

He made puddings and custards, trying in vain

to concoct a flaming souffle from Anne’s brain.

Unimpressed customers left in thick droves,

out of ideas, the chef wept at his stove.

 

Red Velvet Slaughter Cake

Red Velvet Slaughter Cake

 

But suddenly chef had come up with a plan,

and grabbed for a rusty old spoon and a pan.

Chef mixed up flour, milk, sugar and egg,

and boiled up blood, stirring it with a leg.

 

Tossed in the oven, chef shouted with glee,

at his plan for his latest victim, Henry.

Set to 350 he began to bake

a bright, bloody red velvet slaughter cake.

 

The droves all came back with their forks and their knives,

to eat chef’s new cake, all while risking their lives.

Chef looked at the guests for a victim, but who?

You’d better watch out, because it might be you.

 

RED VELVET SLAUGHTER CAKE

Red Velvet Slaughter Cake

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38 Comments

  • gina
    October 15, 2012 - 11:44 am | Permalink

    Gorgeous & brilliant, I love it!!!

  • Renee Garrison
    October 15, 2012 - 11:56 am | Permalink

    A terrific seasonal twist on an old favorite!

  • Anne
    October 15, 2012 - 12:00 pm | Permalink

    I love this idea! I will definitely be making for Halloween.

  • Dee
    October 15, 2012 - 12:37 pm | Permalink

    Love it! Such a great twist to add to this Halloween season!!!

  • October 15, 2012 - 12:59 pm | Permalink

    Genius

  • October 15, 2012 - 1:51 pm | Permalink

    My favorite cake combined with my favorite holiday!!! Kerry you are a genius and I must make this :)

    Love the story to go along with it, very entertaining.

  • October 15, 2012 - 3:38 pm | Permalink

    WOW, what a gorgeous and yet devilish cake! Great job, I love it!!

    • October 17, 2012 - 11:10 pm | Permalink

      Thank you, Lauren! It’s a little bit macabre, but it wouldn’t be Halloweeny without a little blood, right?

  • Margot C
    October 15, 2012 - 7:51 pm | Permalink

    That is so beautiful. I might make it for a non-halloween style dinner and maybe tone down to splatter.

    I wonder. When I use those deep cake pans I have two problems. (1). I have to cook them so long to get the inside cooked that they are brown around the edges and (2). They sort of puff up and aren’t level and flat on top like your beautiful photogenic ones.

    Are you trimming them? Are you slicing the bulging tops off? What do you think I might be doing wrong?

    • October 17, 2012 - 11:15 pm | Permalink

      Hi Margot! You could easily make this into an any-time-of-the-year dessert. The blood might look weird on a Thanksgiving or Presidents Day cake, but hey, I say go for it!

      To address the problems that come up:

      1) I noticed very little by way of browning on these cakes by baking them at 350. But if there’s a significant amount you can scrape or cut it off, but it shouldn’t be too bad that it ruins the consistency, moistness or flavor. It’s important to make sure they don’t over-bake though, otherwise it’ll dry out pretty quickly.

      2) I level off the part of the cake that bulges out of the pan, but I should’ve put that in the instructions :) After I level off that part, I actually use the section I leveled off as the bottom of the cake, that way the top is the perfectly rounded off side.

  • October 15, 2012 - 9:10 pm | Permalink

    Brilliant, Kerry, you are brilliant! YUMM….and also yikes!

    xoxo
    Cheri

    • October 17, 2012 - 11:17 pm | Permalink

      Thanks, Cheri!

      Would you say I’m…bloody brilliant?

      I don’t even know why I typed that. It’s a terrible pun. I could delete it, but I’m kind of lazy so I don’t even want to hit the backspace key, so it stays.

      In all of its unfunny glory.

  • October 15, 2012 - 9:42 pm | Permalink

    I find this strangely appealing and have lately become more and more interested in food images that are less cute and pretty and more controversial? I know I’m reading a lot into it here, it’s still cake, but this is my roundabout way of saying, this is totally awesome! Perfect for this time of year for both Hallowe’en and the new season of Dexter.

    • October 17, 2012 - 11:19 pm | Permalink

      Thanks, Melanie! I really wanted to create something that wasn’t cutesy, which is what a lot of Halloween recipes have become. I like the dark and macabre side of Halloween, and I’m glad you appreciate that aspect of it as well!

      AND I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS NEW SEASON OF DEXTER I CAN’T EVEN STOP WRITING IN CAPS.

  • conxita
    October 23, 2012 - 7:16 am | Permalink

    amazing, funny, stylish …. just great

  • October 23, 2012 - 12:54 pm | Permalink

    This is the coolest cake I’ve ever seen. We don’t really celebrate Halloween in Poland that much, but I don’t care, I’m gonna make this cake :)

  • October 24, 2012 - 3:53 pm | Permalink

    Amazing cake and amazing photography…I am from Poland too luckily we are in dublin so looking for inspiration and thank you for inspiring us!

    • October 31, 2012 - 12:02 am | Permalink

      Thanks so much! Let me know if you end up making it!

      • October 31, 2012 - 6:37 pm | Permalink

        I did slightly different version of it and I gave a link to your recipe/website on my blog. It turned out really delicious and moist. Thanks for huge inspiration and happy Halloween!

  • October 31, 2012 - 9:42 am | Permalink

    Can you just tell me what is the temperature for baking cakes?

  • Luanne
    March 7, 2013 - 2:13 pm | Permalink

    Love this! I’ve made red velvet cakes, brownies, cup cakes, cake balls but never one like this! Interesting & kind of yucky technique for the blood splatter. I’ll have to decide whose birthday, wedding shower, etc to spring it on…

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  • catherine
    February 11, 2014 - 11:18 am | Permalink

    Hello Kerry,
    I want to make this cake for a Valentine’s Day gathering (no bloody splatter!) and was wondering what you meant by 1 bottle full of water? I have the 16 oz liquid food coloring and am not sure of the quantity of water. Thank you so much…looking forward to making this cake! Looks moist and yummy!!!

    • February 12, 2014 - 6:47 am | Permalink

      Hi Catherine! Sorry the ingredients list is unclear, but the bottle of water is if you use a 1oz bottle of food coloring, then use the same 1oz bottle to measure the water. Maybe I should specify 1oz of water instead, eh? :)

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